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New mom says she won’t pierce daughter’s ears until she can speak for herself

October 16th, 2020

A curious child and a teenager (or any age, perhaps?) are no different. When they’re told not to do a particular thing, that’s right about the time they want to do it even more.

This is oftentimes referred to as “The Forbidden Fruit Effect”, it makes us impulsive and prone to doing a lot of dumb things.

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That’s exactly what happened to Kimberly Zapata, a writer for Scary Mommy.

She got her first-ever tattoo on her 18th birthday. Her parents didn’t like it when she got it and never did after that, but she did what she did, it’s a permanent tattoo that she got.

She wrote, “I would like to say I had some grand plan, or even that I wanted something cool, but no. No, I simply wanted a tattoo because my mother didn’t want me to have one. Go figure.”

Zapata also wrote about the other body modifications that she had. But this time, everything was well thought about.

This happens a lot- you get denied doing something when you’re little, then once you grow old enough and are given full control of your body, you go all out!

It’s actually pretty simple. Your body – your choice or, in other words, liberty!

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Ironically, Zapata also said that she doesn’t want to get her daughter’s ears pierced.

It’s pretty much a common thing that parents do to their little ones. In fact, there are some parents who would want their newborn’s ears pierced.

While it has become a norm, it still sparks debates here and there, whether parents should make that call for their kids at such an early age.

Zapata wants her daughter to have a say in what happens with her body, especially when it comes to her appearance.

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It’s the same philosophy that she has about getting a tattoo.

The pressure that she’s gotten was real and sadly, there were times when her body modifications were brought up in conversations with people while they were talking about her “odd” decision not to get her daughter’s ears pierced.

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And can we just say this, for the record, her daughter is just a toddler!

“Before my daughter could sit or crawl, I had numerous family members ask when I would be piercing her ears, or they would express their shock I hadn’t done it yet. ‘But I thought you would be all about piercing her ears. I mean, with all your piercings and tattoos…’ they’d say.”

Seriously? What kind of logic is that?

Some people just don’t get that tattoos and piercings are all about self-expression.

Just how hard it is to understand that she wanted her daughter to have full control over it? It’s as basic as ABC, it is her child’s body and not hers.

“What seemed like a no-brainer to them — I had modifications so of course my daughter would — is precisely the reason my daughter doesn’t have any. Only she can decide what she wants to do with her body, and that decision comes with age, maturity, and language skills, not motherly intervention,” she wrote.

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Life simply isn’t perfect, everyone definitely has stories to tell about their annoying, nosy relatives and friends.

In Zapata’s case, people made it sound like “it’s just her ears” as if it’s not a big deal. It looked like they weren’t aware that an ear piercing might leave a permanent mark or scar, pretty much like a tattoo.

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She simply wanted to leave the decision up to her daughter.

“Piercing my daughter’s ears before she can decide if she wants them pierced would do her no good and actually create a potential problem, and one which I see as the biggest problem with infant/toddler piercing: the issue of consent.”

It’s like when she got her first tattoo. Yes, it was an impulsive and stupid decision, but it was the first-ever decision that she’ll be forever proud of.

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Zapata is just waiting for her daughter to decide on it.

She is not going to wait until her daughter turns 18, it’s not like that. She just wants her to understand it first then it’s up to her if she will agree to it or not.

“If my daughter comes to me at 6 or 8 or even 10 and tells me she wants her ears pierced, I will educate her and then gladly accompany her to the nearest APP (Association of Professional Piercers) shop. But I will not force piercing on her, nor will I decide for her.”

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After all, if you are the type of mom who values self-worth and girl-power, are you going take this simple decision away from your child? It is not as simple as ear piercing, it is about FREEDOM.

You can read Zapata’s entire piece here.

Please SHARE this with your friends and family.

Source: Parenting Isn’t Easy, Scary Mommy/Kimberly Zapata, Exploring Your Mind

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