Thanksgiving is a time for loved ones to gather around the table to share a meal, taking part in an age-old American tradition. For many, it’s a cherished holiday.
But, while there’s a lot to love about Thanksgiving, it can be a stressful time too.
Crazy relatives emerge from the woodwork and the worst Thanksgiving dishes that you’ve managed to avoid for the rest of the year make their dreaded appearance… such as Brussels sprouts.
You try to protest. But “it’s tradition!”
And then, there’s the turkey — the centerpiece of the entire meal.
If you buy your turkey frozen, the thawing needs to be done days in advance. Stuffing the turkey involves unceremoniously cramming the poor bird’s cold cavity with your bare hands.
Cooking the bird to perfection takes hours of careful basting, with your head in the flaming hot oven while your back slowly breaks.
Now, compound all of these Thanksgiving stresses 10-fold: What if you’re a vegetarian?
Never fear, there is an ingenious (but very impractical) solution!
To begin, you’ll need one cup of celery, one cup of carrots, an ax, and a small dog… yes, you read that right.
If you’re not familiar with Joseph Herscher’s madcap work, you’re in for a treat.
get ready for his hands-off recipe for a “fool-proof” roast turkey!
It’s made entirely by a Rube Goldberg machine that is almost completely powered by his dog!
“I am vegetarian and I was thinking about hosting a Thanksgiving party this year, but then dreaded having to make the turkey. I started thinking about how I could make it without touching it, and suddenly had the idea for a machine that stuffed it for me,” Herscher told Viral Hog. “I am a kinetic artist, specializing in Rube Goldberg machines – comical contraptions that do simple tasks in overly complicated ways. I’ve been making these machines partly to improve my life and partly to entertain other people.”
From around the 19-second mark in the video, you know this is no ordinary turkey recipe. Here we are first introduced to Herscher’s dog, Michael, and an ax.
First, he makes the stuffing.
The ax is strung up in such a way that it cuts the carrots and celery for the stuffing, which are slowly moving on a kinetic conveyor belt.
The ax is attached to a springboard that the adorable little dog jumps up and down on — trying to reach the turkey neck that’s been attached to the handle of the ax.
When there are no more veggies to chop, the container of chopped vegetables flies through the air!
Viola, the turkey is stuffed!
Now, Herscher needs some softened butter.
I’m sure you can see where this is going. There has to be a normal way to include butter in this method…right?
He has put the refrigerated butter in a plastic bag (thank heavens) before he slides it under his sleeping dog, who melts it with his body heat (kinda gross).
Then, he massages the butter onto the turkey (also kinda…gross).
Herscher pops the turkey into the oven. But he has one last ridiculous trick up his sleeve…
He inserts a large meat thermometer into the turkey, and he attaches a chain onto the hand of the thermometer’s dial, with a padlock attached to the end. What will it trigger?
It’s rigged so that the turkey will slide out of the oven when it’s done… with a little help from his dog, of course!
Watch the video below to witness Herscher’s wacky method for “fool-proof” turkey in full, and to see the result!
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