10+ Etiquette Mistakes Everyone Commits in Italian Restaurants

Whether at your favorite family-owned trattoria or a beloved chain, Italian cuisine holds a special place in the hearts (and stomachs) of many Americans. Yet, beyond the enjoyment of pizza, pasta, and gelato lies a realm of dining etiquette specific to Italian restaurants. From the art of pasta twirling to subtle missteps and staff pet peeves, mastering Italian-restaurant etiquette is essential. Here’s what you need to know.

Cutting spaghetti

One prevalent Italian-restaurant etiquette error among Americans is cutting their pasta. According to Alberto Presutti, a specialist in Italian and international hospitality codes of behavior, cutting spaghetti and fettuccine with a knife is considered improper. Elisa Motterle, another Italian etiquette expert, concurs, emphasizing that using a spoon to twirl pasta is also discouraged. Instead, only a fork should be used for swirling spaghetti.

Using a knife to cut lasagna

Similar to the etiquette surrounding spaghetti or fettuccine, Motterle notes that it’s also considered improper to use a fork and knife to cut stuffed pasta, such as lasagna, stuffed shells, or ravioli. This particular guideline can puzzle some Americans, leaving them uncertain about how to approach their layered lasagna. However, Italians hold pasta in such high regard that they refrain from using a knife on it altogether—it’s a matter of showing respect for the dish. Therefore, using a knife on any type of pasta is deemed poor dining etiquette.

Eating bread with pasta

Indulging in warm, crusty Italian bread is a delight, but there’s a proper occasion for it. Requesting a basket of bread to accompany your pasta is considered incorrect etiquette. Motterle explains that bread should not be consumed alongside other starchy dishes like risotto or pasta. Additionally, Presutti reveals an intriguing food tidbit: garlic bread and buttered breadsticks aren’t typically found in Italy; they’re more American than Italian. Who would’ve guessed?

Using bread to soak up pasta sauce

Indulging in every last drop of delicious sauce is tempting, but using bread to soak it up at a fancy restaurant might draw some disapproving glances. According to Motterle, while it’s common to use a small piece of bread to mop up sauce in a casual setting, it’s considered overly casual for a more formal dining environment.

Dipping your bread in the communal olive oil

In Italian restaurants, it’s customary for the waiter to bring a basket of bread for everyone to share, often accompanied by olive oil for dipping and sometimes butter. Hirst advises against dipping your bread directly into the communal olive oil or using a knife to spread communal butter onto your bread, as both actions are considered poor etiquette.

Passing food to the left

When dining at a family-style Italian meal or sharing appetizers, it’s crucial to pass the food correctly to avoid confusion and ensure everyone enjoys the delicious offerings. Motterle emphasizes that passing food to the left is considered a minor etiquette blunder, not only at Italian restaurants but also during mealtime in general. This etiquette tip holds true for dinner parties as well, so keep it in mind!

Choosing the “right” wine

Wine plays a significant role in Italian culture, but the process of selecting the right wine to accompany your meal can be daunting. However, according to chef Francesco Basile, executive chef and owner of San Diego’s Antica Trattoria, there’s no need to stress. He suggests prioritizing enjoyment over rigid wine-pairing rules. In his view, both red and white wines can complement pasta with red sauces, pasta with white sauces, or seafood dishes. Ultimately, what matters most is that you relish your meal—and selecting a wine you genuinely enjoy is key to enhancing the dining experience.

Ordering pasta as a side

Italian restaurants typically don’t categorize pasta as a side dish; rather, it’s intended as an entrée. Motterle stresses that ordering pasta as a side is a no-no. If you’re aiming for a balanced meal but watching your calorie intake, it’s best not to request pasta as a side alongside a salad. These items are listed on the menu in their designated sections for a reason, so it’s advisable to adhere to the menu structure.

Adding shredded Parmesan to seafood dishes

Asking for more cheese isn’t considered rude, according to Presutti and Motterle. However, the context of what you want to put it on matters. Presutti emphasizes that Italians love to sprinkle Parmesan on pasta, particularly spaghetti and fettuccine. In fact, Parmesan is often provided at restaurants in a cheese bowl so diners can use it to their liking. On the other hand, Motterle cautions against using cheese on dishes with seafood, such as spaghetti with clams, as it can alter the intended taste of the dish.

Making the waiter wonder if you’re done eating

In both Europe and the United States, there’s a proper way to signal to the waiter that you’ve finished your meal without leaving them to guess. However, methods like placing utensils on the tablecloth or napkin, or forming an “x” with them on the plate, are considered incorrect. Similarly, placing your napkin on top of your plate is deemed rude.

Getting a cappuccino with your main course

While cappuccinos are indeed popular in Italy, they’re typically enjoyed during breakfast rather than with dinner, according to Presutti. Motterle concurs, noting that cappuccinos are viewed more as a snack and are acceptable in the morning, perhaps paired with a croissant. Some may indulge in them as a mid-afternoon pick-me-up, but it’s uncommon to have one alongside a proper meal. In America, it’s not unusual to find cappuccinos on the menu at Italian restaurants, but it’s best to refrain from ordering one with your dinner.

Tucking your napkin into your shirt

When gearing up to indulge in a hearty plate of spaghetti with red sauce, it’s understandable to want to shield your clothing from potential tomato stains. However, Hirst advises against tucking your napkin into your shirt, as it’s considered rude etiquette.

Asking for Ketchup or Hot Sauce

Requesting ketchup or hot sauce in an Italian restaurant can be seen as a sign that the diner is not appreciative of the authentic flavors of the cuisine. Italian cooking prides itself on the quality of ingredients and their natural tastes, and adding such condiments may suggest the food lacks flavor, which can be insulting to the chef.

Overusing Garlic Bread

While delicious, garlic bread is not a staple in traditional Italian meals and should be consumed in moderation, if at all. Overindulging or expecting it as a standard part of the meal can overshadow the main dishes and detract from the authentic Italian dining experience.

Expecting a Fast Meal

The Italian dining experience is meant to be enjoyed slowly, with an emphasis on savoring each course and the company of fellow diners. Rushing through meals or showing impatience can disrupt the relaxed dining atmosphere that Italian restaurants strive to provide.

Ignoring Seasonal Specials

Italian cuisine is deeply connected to seasonal ingredients. Not considering the chef’s seasonal specials can mean missing out on dishes where ingredients are at their peak, showcasing the true flavors of the region.

Pouring Your Own Wine When Dining in a Group

In Italian dining etiquette, the person who ordered the wine or the host is traditionally responsible for pouring it. Taking the initiative to pour your own wine can be seen as disregarding the group dynamic and the host’s role.

Ignoring the Primi and Secondi Structure

Italian meals are often structured into multiple courses, including primi (pasta or soup) and secondi (meat or fish dishes). Skipping over these courses and ordering only one type of dish can miss the balanced experience that Italian cuisine offers.

Asking for a Doggy Bag in Upscale Restaurants

While taking leftovers home is becoming more accepted, in very formal or upscale Italian restaurants, it may still be seen as inappropriate and not in line with the dining culture, which values the experience of the meal as it is presented.

Not Respecting Silence While Wine Tasting

Wine tasting is a moment of appreciation and assessment. Talking or being distracted during this time can show a lack of respect for the wine’s quality and the sommelier’s expertise.

Assuming All Italian Restaurants Serve Pizza

Italian cuisine varies greatly by region, and not all establishments serve pizza. Expecting pizza in every Italian restaurant can overlook the rich diversity of the cuisine and the specialty of the house.

Using Cheese with Fish Dishes

Traditionally, cheese is rarely paired with fish in Italian cuisine. Doing so can clash with the delicate flavors of the seafood and is often considered a culinary misstep.

Asking for Changes to Menu Items

Italian dishes are crafted with specific ingredients to balance flavors perfectly. Requesting changes not only disrupts this balance but also can be seen as questioning the chef’s expertise and the integrity of traditional recipes.

Failing to Compliment the Chef in a Small Restaurant

In smaller, family-run establishments, the chef often takes great personal pride in their work. Failing to offer compliments after a meal can be seen as neglecting to acknowledge their effort and skill.

Mixing Seafood and Cheese

This extends beyond Parmesan to all cheeses. Italian culinary tradition generally avoids combining cheese with seafood to preserve the integrity of the seafood’s natural flavor profile.

Not Using Olive Oil Correctly

Olive oil is a staple in Italian cooking, used carefully to enhance dishes. Adding it indiscriminately, especially to dishes that are traditionally served without it, can alter the intended flavor and character of the meal.

Ignoring the Waitstaff’s Recommendations

Italian restaurant staff often have deep knowledge of their menu and can offer valuable insights into dish selections and wine pairings. Overlooking their advice can mean missing out on an optimized dining experience tailored to your tastes and preferences.

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